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This period marks a ten-year milestone since the word “disappearing” hit the mainstream. Initially, the concept that someone could suddenly stop communication with a partner without any notice seemed like the height of disrespect. We were so innocent. In the 10 years since, seeking a partner has only become more perplexing – an frequently fruitless endeavor in humiliation that is increasingly pigeonholed by social media jargon.

Zoomers, a demographic who came of age during a loneliness epidemic, a male identity reckoning, and a widespread challenge on the freedoms of women and the LGBTQ+ community, faces a infinitely more complex landscape than their Gen Y forerunners could ever envision. And so their romantic glossary has grown longer and more unhinged, with terms like “Shrekking” and “vine swinging” pushing the boundaries of your mental fortitude.

The following list is a detailed breakdown to the phrases gen Z is using to talk about romance, sex and the search of both. To channel one of the year’s most viral online sayings, by the end of this list you’ll yearn to get back to a bygone era – because wherever that is, it is free from “wokefishing”.

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A

Genuineness – According to gen Z, dating’s ideal is showing up as your real, unfiltered self. You'll need it with that!

B

Feathered friend test – A online phenomenon connected to a framework developed by relationship scientists, in which you point out something insignificant – for example, “A bird flew by earlier” – and pay attention to whether your partner’s response is engaged or brushed off. If they aren't interested to hear more about the bird, you two are not compatible.

Black cat girlfriend – Zoomers' answer to the “manic pixie dream girl” archetype of the early 2000s – but instead of having short fringe, liking indie music and avoiding commitment, the mysterious partner prioritizes herself while radiating enigma and independence. (She could possibly have baby bangs.)

C

Support test – This means going for someone who helps you proactively. If you entered a room, they would pull up a chair for you to take a load off.

Task-based bonding – A date where two people connect while doing chores, such as walking the dog or grocery shopping. In other words, how cash-strapped twentysomethings do low-cost dating in a post-cheap-date world.

Crashing out – Losing it when you feel burdened by life. You can lose it over a infatuation or breakup, venting all of your unreciprocated feelings.

D

DINK – Dual income no kids. Once a signifier of 80s yuppie affluence, it describes pairs who forgo having children to prioritize their own happiness. Or because they cannot afford to become parents.

E

Emotional vibe coding – The antithesis of being guarded: utilizing dialogue, transparency and vulnerability.

The Letter F

Signals

• Danger signals – Behavioral traits suggesting a potential partner is trouble. Such as calling their exes unstable, poor tipping habits, a love of Woody Allen films, a new DJ career …
• Good indicators – These traits validate your decision to pursue a partner. For instance following up to make sure you got home safe after a date, low screen time, owning a proper bed …
• Beige flags – These typically describe niche, largely benign idiosyncrasies. Such as being an enthusiastic ornithologist, still keeping a biro in their purse, paying rent in cash …

Freak matching – When you connect with someone who’s just as passionate about documentaries about the second world war or physical media hoarding or collaging or anything it may be, as you. Or, conversely, finding someone who loathes the same stuff or people that you do (few things creates closeness faster than sharing a common enemy).

G

The band Geese – A musical group a typical Zoomer guy is into.

Ghostlighting – Someone who resurfaces into your life after a period of disappearing.

Loyal boyfriend – Someone who is friendly, accommodating and devoted. The rare boyfriend who is adored by all of his partner’s friends, and a mysterious partner's foil.

Prolonged session enthusiasts – A primarily online subculture of men so preoccupied with masturbation that they attempt lengthy sessions, deliberately postponing orgasm so they can go on as long as possible.

The Letter H

Heterofatalism – A phenomenon describing many women's increasing cynicism toward heterosexual relationships. It will come as no surprise to anyone who read the above entry.

Manosphere archetype – An archetype championed by manosphere figures: a woman who is attractive, ever-comforting and happily domestic, who apparently has no ambitions of her own aside from satisfying her male partner. Perhaps now you’re beginning to see the whole “heterofatalism” thing better?

The Letter I

Turn-offs – Random and often mundane turnoffs that immediately kill any sense of attraction.

“Actions speak louder" – Something to remember after you watch someone else receive an incredibly thoughtful act.

J

Careers – These have not been this significant in the dating scene since the greed-is-good era. For some women, a “banker” is the ultimate catch: a fleece-vest-wearing, conservative-leaning guy who will be a provider (there’s a popular TikTok audio on the topic). Meanwhile the anti-capitalist crowd seek out partners in sectors they believe are being staffed by the more caring among us: nurses, educators or therapists.

K

Kissing – This year, scientists learned that the kiss has been around for 16m years. But the days of locking lips may be waning since some Zoomers desire fewer intimate scenes in movies, as they are having reduced intimacy themselves and do not find onscreen romance authentic.

Light catfishing – Catfishing-lite. Or, not exactly being dishonest about who you are, but maybe using older (better) pictures of yourself on a online profile, or making your career sound more prestigious than it is. Also known as {